What Do You Like To Do In Your Free Time Online Dating Example

The websites have major benefits but drawbacks as well.

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Posted July 8, 2014 Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

In the quest to find romance, more of us have turned to online dating. Once stigmatized as a venue for the desperate, online dating has become a normal part of the mating game. A recent survey of 19,000 people who married between 2005 and 2012 found that 35 percent of these new couples met online, with about half of those meeting through an online dating site (Cacioppo et al., 2013).

What do you like to do in your free time online dating example questionnaire

I like watching movies very much, what about you? If you want to use one of these examples for a section of a longer online dating profile on a site like OkCupid, simply move the call-to-action to the end of your profile. That’s the line at the very end that tells her what to do next, i.e. Message you or swipe right.

Talking about hobbies in more detail. You can give more information about your hobbies and interests: “I like arts and crafts. I’m a creative / practical person, and like doing things with my hands.”. “I’m an outgoing person, and like socialising / hanging out with friends.”. “I enjoy being physically active, and spend a lot of. Unless you like your online dating mailbox cluttered with people debating you why you should like them, be direct and clear. Tell them you appreciated their message but you are not interested. Not “I think I’m not interested” or “it probably isn’t going to work,” – you are not interested. You seem really bothered by your online dating results (psyco-rant and all) I bet you have a ton of mistakes in your profile & photos that are hurting your results. (I’ll prove it) How about I do a free in-depth video profile critique for you as long as I can show it on my site.

How can these sites help you find romance, and what pitfalls should you be aware of?

Pros:

Access to more people and more types of people. The most obvious benefit of these websites is that they provide easy access to thousands of potential dates. This can be especially beneficial for people who don’t have a large social circle. In addition to the sheer number of people you can meet, many sites provide an avenue for meeting like-minded people. There are dating sites devoted to particular religious groups, like Christian Mingle or JDate, for example, as well as sites that cater to gay and lesbian daters. (Rosenfeld & Thomas, 2012).

You know where people stand. Unlike other social venues, on an online dating site, you can be fairly certain that everyone you meet is single and looking. This removes a lot of the ambiguity that you face when you meet an interesting person at a work event or a party.

You can break free from traditional gender roles. Because of the ease and relative anonymity of online dating sites, we may take more risk by reaching out to people we would not approach in person. And even though men generally contact women more than vice versa on these sites, research has shown that a sizable minority of women do reach out to men they find desirable online, suggesting that these sites allow some women to overcome traditional gender norms that cast them in a passive role of waiting to be approached (Scharlott & Christ, 1995).

It can be good for shy people. Shy or socially anxious individuals often have difficulty forming and maintaining close relationships (Alden & Taylor, 2004; Davila & Beck, 2002). Research suggests that those who are socially anxious (Green, 2001) or introverted (Amichai-Hamburger et al., 2002; Rice & Markey, 2009) feel more comfortable communicating online. These individuals may have an easier time approaching people and opening up online. Thus, it is not surprising that shy people are more likely to look for romance on dating sites (Scharlott & Christ, 1995; Ward & Tracey, 2004).

Cons:

Too many options can be a bad thing. As discussed, one benefit of online dating sites is access to hundreds, even thousands of potential mates—but having all those options is not always a great thing. A large body of literature on decision-making shows that, in general, when we have too many choices available to us, we’re less satisfied with any one choice (Schwartz, 2004).

Having no choices can lead to misery, but too many options can overwhelm and lead you to worry that you’ve chosen wrong. You can feel confident in your decision about which car to buy when there are only three under consideration, but if there are hundreds, you’ll constantly second-guess yourself and wonder if you could have done better.

The same principle applies to online dating: The sheer number of potential partners creates abundant choice. So if one dater doesn’t fit the bill, there are hundreds more who could be better. But this can also lead you to pass up on potential dates because with all those options, you can't help but think, 'There must be someone better out there.'

Online dating sites can thus foster an attitude in which potential mates are objectified like products on a store shelf, rather than people (Finkel et al., 2012).

Profiles provide limited information. Online profiles are missing vital information you can only glean in person (Finkel et al., 2012), so it can be difficult to know if you’re really compatible with someone based solely on what they have shared on a dating site. Research shows that people spend their time on dating sites searching criteria such as income and education, and physical attributes like height and body type, when what they really need is information about the actual experience of interacting with and getting to know the person on the other end of the profile (Frost et al., 2008).

In addition, when we read vague information about someone, we mentally fill in the blanks with specific details that may be incorrect (Norton & Frost, 2007). For example, when you read in a man’s profile that he’s a movie buff, you might think that's something you have in common, but when you get to talking about movies on your date you realize that you’re a foreign film aficionado, while he’s obsessed with horror flicks. One study of online daters found that most viewed each other as less similar, and liked each other less, afterward, compared to before their offline dates (Norton et al., 2007).

The sites can put too much focus on physical attractiveness. It is well documented that physical attractiveness is a major factor in romantic attraction, especially initial attraction (Sprecher, 1989). Not surprisingly, physically attractive people are more successful at online dating (Hitsch et al., 2005).

But in real life, after we get to know someone and like their personality, we begin to find them more physically appealing as well (Kniffin & Wilson, 2004). Making a quick decision based on an online photo doesn’t allow for this slower development of physical attraction and may cause us to dismiss potential mates to whom we could become attracted.

There's pressure for things to turn romantic quickly. One benefit of online dating is that you know those on the site are single and looking, which reduces ambiguity. But this also creates pressure quickly to turn your online connection into something romantic, rather than letting romantic feelings develop more slowly.

When you meet someone in the context of an online dating site, the stage is set to look for an immediate romantic connection—and to abandon the effort if there’s no spark. This is only exacerbated by the emphasis on physical attractiveness created by online dating profiles.

Romantic relationships often do develop slowly, rather than taking off from instant mutual attraction. Stanford University’s “How Couples Meet and Stay Together Survey” queried a nationally representative sample of adults to determine how and when they met their current romantic partner (Rosenfeld & Reuben, 2011). In my own analysis of this data, I examined the age at which survey respondents met their current partner and compared this to the age at which they became romantically involved, to get a rough sense of how long it took couples to go from first meeting to a romantic relationship.

I found that those who met their partners via online dating sites became romantically involved significantly sooner (an average of two-and-a-half months) than those who met in other ways (an average of one-and-a-half years). This suggests that online dating sites don’t facilitate slowly finding love the way that we often do offline.

It could become a crutch. As mentioned earlier, those who are introverted or shy may find online dating more palatable than other ways of looking for love. But if we choose to focus only on online dating, because it’s safer, we could miss out on other opportunities to meet people.

For more on misconceptions about online dating, read my post on 4 Myths about Online Dating.

Gwendolyn Seidman, Ph.D. is an associate professor of psychology at Albright College, who studies relationships and cyberpsychology. Follow her on Twitter.

References

Alden, L. E., & Taylor, C. T. (2004). Interpersonal processes in social phobia. Clinical Psychology Review, 24(7), 857–882. doi: 10.1016/j.cpr.2004.07.006

Amichai-Hamburger, Y., Wainapel, G., & Fox, S. (2002). 'On the Internet no one knows I'm an introvert': Extroversion, neuroticism, and Internet interaction. Cyberpsychology & Behavior, 5, 125-128. doi:10.1089/109493102753770507

Cacioppo, J. T., Cacioppo, S., Gonzaga, G. C., Ogburn, E. L., & VanderWeele, T. J. (2013). Marital satisfaction and break-ups differ across on-line and off-line meeting venues. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 110 (25), 10135–10140. doi: 10.1073/pnas.1222447110

Davila, J., & Beck J. G. (2002). Is social anxiety associated with impairment in close relationships? A preliminary investigation. Behavior Therapy, 33, 427-446. doi: 10.1016/S0005-7894(02)80037-5

Finkel, E. J., Eastwick, P. W., Karney, B. R., Reis, H. T., & Sprecher, S.. (2012) Online dating: A critical analysis from the perspective of psychological science. Psychological Science in the Public Interest, 13, 3-66. doi: 10.1177/1529100612436522

Frost, J. H., Chance, Z., Norton, M. I., & Ariely, D. (2008), People are experience goods: Improving online dating with virtual dates. Journal of Interactive Marketing, 22, 51–61. doi: 10.1002/dir.20106

Green, A. S. (2001). Breaking down the barriers of social anxiety: Online group presentation. Unpublished master’s thesis, New York University, New York, New York.

Hitsch, G. J., Hortacsu, A., & Ariely, D. (2005), What Makes You Click: An Empirical Analysis of Online Dating, University of Chicago and MIT, Chicago and Cambridge. Retrieved from https://www.aeaweb.org/assa/2006/0106_0800_0502.pdf July 3, 2014.

Kniffin, K. M., & Wilson, D. S. (2004). The effect of nonphysical traits on the perception of physical attractiveness: Three naturalistic studies. Evolution and Human Behavior, 25(2), 88–101. doi: 10.1016/S1090-5138(04)00006-6

Norton, M. I., & Frost, J. H. (2007, January). Less is more: Why online dating is so disappointing and how virtual dates can help. Paper presented at the meeting of the Society for Social and Personality and Psychology, Memphis, TN.

Norton, M. I., Frost, J. H., & Ariely, D. (2007). Less is more: When and why familiarity breeds contempt. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92, 97–105. doi: 10.1037/0022-3514.92.1.97

Rice, L., & Markey, P. M. (2009). The role of extraversion and neuroticism in influencing anxiety following computer-mediated interactions. Personality and Individual Differences, 46, 35-39. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2008.08.022

Rosenfeld, M. J., & Thomas, R. J. (2011). “How Couples Meet and Stay Together, Wave 3 version 3.04.” Machine Readable Data File. Stanford, CA: Stanford University Libraries (http://data.stanford.edu/hcmst).

Rosenfeld, M. J., & Thomas, R. J. (2012). Searching for a mate: The rise of the Internet as a social intermediary. American Sociological Review, 77(4), 523 –547. doi: 10.1177/0003122412448050

Scharlott, B. W., & Christ, W. G. (1995). Overcoming relationship-initiation barriers: The impact of a computer-dating system on sex role, shyness, and appearance inhibitions. Computers in Human Behavior, 11(2), 191–204. doi: 10.1016/0747-5632(94)00028-G

Schwartz, B. (2004). The paradox of choice: Why more is less. New York: HarperCollins Publishers.

Sprecher, S. (1989). The importance to males and females of physical attractiveness, earning potential, and expressiveness in initial attraction. Sex Roles, 21, 591-607. doi: 10.1007/BF00289173

Ward, C. D., & Tracey, T. J. G. (2004). Relation of shyness with aspects of online relationship involvement. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 21, 611-23. doi: 10.1177/0265407504045890

Communication on the Internet has long ceased to be something unusual. More and more people are beginning to communicate on dating sites and they use them not just for entertainment. However, before “diving” into virtual communication, you need to know how to communicate on the Internet. Communication through the Internet often confuses even men who are very experienced in amorous affairs. The fact is that all real experience disappears when it comes to virtual communication. Girls love interesting men, so your first phrase should be really unusual and catchy to attract their attention. What to try on a dating site in order to attract the attention of a beauty?

Online dating messaging: general tips and advice

It may seem that there are no difficulties in virtual communication. It is even simpler than in real life – an interlocutor doesn’t see your facial expressions and other feelings and it means that you can show your excitement or other emotions and no one knows what you feel. In addition, if you don’t know what to answer, you can always pause, saying that you have to go, or even stop talking without explanation. However, everything is not so simple in a situation when you like some girl and just don’t know how to continue this communication. And here are online dating message tips for you:

How to message a girl: establishing an online dating dialogue

Don’t hesitate to ask women questions, of course, without giving your conversation a form of interrogation. If your interlocutor doesn’t indicate in a profile whether she is married, you can directly ask what caused such mistery and what her marital status is. It's bad to ask directly about the amount of salary, a car or an apartment, height, and weight.

What to talk about in online dating messages: the hierarchy of topics can be structured according to the following pattern:

  • general things (mood, weather, holidays, weekends)
  • exchange of opinions (relations between men and women, sports, politics, cars, economics, music, literature, favorite institutions and the like)
  • personal information (past relationships, wishes for a future partner, plans for children).

Of course, this scheme is very approximate. However, the transition from ordinary online dating messages like “Hi! How is your mood?” to a frank conversation on exciting personal topics can take just a few minutes on the Internet. The main idea is that you need to be able to feel the mood of your interlocutor, don’t ask harsh and too personal questions while trying to get maximum information.

Learn to write to a woman

Learn how to use the search. Don’t be shy and write to everyone who arouses your interest. Don’t they answer? No problem, this is just a dating site. So, what to write in the first message? The variant “Hello, let's get acquainted” is not perfect, but you can use it in extreme cases. The best way to send the first message in online dating is just to say “Hello!”, make a compliment and ask something about her profile. But the win-win option in online dating messages that surely get responses is to write something like “Hello! I am interested in your profile” and tell about yourself. Do it briefly, but essentially. Tell about your hobbies, goals, some views on life, etc. And at the end add: “I’ll be glad to talk with you” That is all. Next, give a woman the right to respond to your proposal.

Don’t be a “handkerchief” for someone else's tears

You shouldn’t be too indifferent in correspondence, but you also shouldn’t become a “handkerchief” for a stranger. You will spend a lot of time listening to someone's suffering, and as a result, a person may experience awkwardness in personal communication in the future or you don’t like each other at all. On the Internet, there are many women who are going through a divorce or a painful parting and they want to speak out. Don’t go too far into the details of their personal tragedies: you are not a free psychologist, but a potential boyfriend. If you are interested in each other, you will have plenty of time to comfort her and listen to her stories. But for now, don’t be distracted from your main goal. Refrain from advice and comments, sympathize with a woman, write that everything will be fine, and try to turn your conversation into another direction.

Don’t go crazy

It's just a dating site. You don’t need to be on it for years. It is not necessary to write absolutely to every woman. There is no need to fight desperately for a meeting with a candidate you like. Don’t get upset if some stupid proposals are sent to you. Don’t disappoint in this kind of dating after the first unsuccessful attempts... Even after 20 unsuccessful attempts! Only calm and patient people achieve success here.

Online dating messages: great examples and rules

It is only half of the battle to attract a woman by a photo on an online dating site. You have to consolidate this achievement. A woman, choosing a man on a dating service, will not be satisfied just with your handsome appearance. You should say beautiful words, sharp phrases, and come up with witty answers. There are several simple ways to make each dialog unforgettable and here are online dating message examples so that every girl will want to communicate with you again and again.

Try to be interesting from the first messages

You are definitely a unique man. But a woman, who is corresponding with you in a chat room, maybe doesn’t know it. And will not know if you answer very briefly and don’t ask any questions. Turn into a talker. Ideally, you have to come up with some unusual questions that you can ask at the beginning of your conversation. This will help a conversation become more interesting. What can be used as a rescue circle if a conversation doesn’t develop in any way?

1. Questions that really bother you. Such questions that she can’t answer just “yes” or “no”. Use our first message online dating examples:

  • What kind of men do you like?
  • What are your favorite books/films/music?
  • What do you like about your profession?
  • Where would you like to live?
  • How do you spend your free time?
  • What countries do you dream to visit and why?
  • What, in your opinion, is the main thing in a relationship?

Do you have pets? (This question is relevant if you also love animals and can talk about them for a long time)

2. The second message in online dating can be a message with soft humor. It helps relieve tension in a conversation and emancipates an interlocutor. It is difficult to come up with something universal. But here are some simple examples:

  • Do you think that men more like photos of girls with cobras or girls with teddy bears?
  • Do you think a man should look for a woman or vice versa?
  • Hi! Today you came to me in a dream, but you said only your name (a variant that is perfect for ordinary and not glamorous girls. As a rule, your creativity will do its job and a girl will be curious to know everything in detail).
  • You are so mysterious! Let me be the one who will reveal all your secrets. (We all know that every girl has a mystery. And when a guy writes a young lady about this, she, of course, will be interested in the fact what is so mysterious about her)

The main rule – don’t be afraid to look like a fool! First, it's better than being silent with a good woman. Secondly, even stupidity can help develop a dialog in which you show your intelligence. Thirdly, you don’t lose anything! If a conversation doesn’t work out, then just forget about this woman and communicate with the next one!

3. How to write online dating messages? Tell something about yourself in the hope that a woman may also chime in. You can tell about your cat, about your work, about your hobby, about your house, about anything you want. If a woman keeps silent – well, then, forget her.

4. Ask about something feminine; something easily solved for her but not a bit understandable for you. A woman can give you advice, feeling like the smartest girl in the world, and you may learn a lot about each other in the process. The most common topics for women are clothes and beauty. In general, if you already know what her hobby is, let her tell about it. The main secret is that your problem should be solved “as if by magic” due to her advice. And don’t forget to thank your savior.

What

5. Talk less about oneself, about your exes, about unsuccessful love and other sorrows. Don’t complain about your hard life. She is here for getting acquainted and not for condolences.

Online dating: good first message examples

Here are four universal phrases that will help strike up a conversation literally with one sentence:

“Are you ready…?”

Dating

The first message in online dating can look like this. Begin with a question that can immediately get her taken by surprise: “Are you ready to start salsa training?” or “Are you ready to go on some rides?” On the one hand, starting a dialog with this phrase, you can immediately understand how much your interlocutor is interesting and whether she has a sense of humor. And on the other hand, you immediately have a topic for further discussion.

“What is the place/county… on your photo?”

With this question, you will immediately show that you are interested in the life of a woman. It is not a secret for anyone that it is most pleasant for people to talk about themselves. For example, if you ask where she bought glasses from one of her pictures, and then add “I want the same!”, a girl subconsciously will take this as a compliment and will be open for further communication. Also, the question of what perfume she uses can be appropriate. It is known that the choice of perfume can say a lot about an interlocutor.

“I see you like skiing/dancing…I would like to try this. Tell me, is it difficult?”

Again, it is a good opportunity to immediately strike up good communication starting a conversation with the question of her hobbies.

“Please, please, please help me in…”

This is one more online dating first message example. This phrase can be continued in a thousand different ways – “Photoshop”, “cooking”, “choosing a book”. Any theme is suitable. The main thing is that a woman should understand it better than any other girls. And don’t be shy to seem like an absolute non-expert in this or that issue. Many representatives of the weak half of mankind will boast of their knowledge with pleasure.

These phrases are by no means a panacea and not a magic pill. We gave only examples of some of the best ways of how to get acquainted with a girl on a dating site, and you can use them as a base for creating your own, individual ways of dating. A little imagination and patience – and you will succeed!

Online Dating Mistakes You Need to Avoid

Newbies always make mistakes. Let’s admit it. Especially when we deal with the most unpredictable creatures in the world, women. Especially when you go online and it is sometimes even more difficult to understand what they want. Let’s find out the most common online dating mistakes that can make your joy and online relationships vanish in a blink of an eye. Here you have 6 online dating mistakes to avoid.

1. Using an illegitimate website

Answers

This is a mistake that can spoil your real life, to say nothing about the virtual one. Website-strangers can be very tricky and bleed you white by enticing with beautiful women’s photos. Always check the reviews, ask what online dating websites your friends use, before signing in. If you don’t want to be deceived, of course.

2. Be a Mr.Banality

Serious guys hate idiotic conversations. What they need is a fast way to get acquainted with an attractive woman and win her heart. The point is that thousands of men think the same. When you’re at a club, a simple “You’re cool. How are you doing?” would be enough. However, it doesn’t work here. How not to write the samebla-bla-bla as others? Well, try different topics. For example, the books she likes, movies, fandom you both are members of.

3. Always in a hurry

When you don’t hesitate, the women believe you (a) are the same in relationships and (b) don’t even want to spend more time on them. The worst that can happen is to be like those thousands of ordinary men who do not give a damn about what women feel.

4. Don’t be persistent

It’s another misdo for men. A lot of them act like gigolos and write tens of women at a time…and never go back to see whether ALL of them texted back. Nobody forces you to text only 3 women at a time. Just know your limit. Remember a “persistent rule”, when you find the one and she ignores you. Hmm…how unfair it is! Go on writing. You will lose nothing and avoid one of online dating mistakes.

5. Begging for a phone number

Here is another one of the most common online dating mistakes. Using a wife finder some guys make huge mistakes begging for a number in the beginning of a chat. Such an impudence is unacceptable among most decent ladies. Again, do not rush. The same is about meeting face-to-face. First, get acquainted with a woman, get to know her better, make several video calls before going on a real date.

6. Chat with married women

If a lady is already married, she can become a source of endless problems. First, if such a woman is here, this is a priori a bad fact. She spends her time dating on the net with strangers instead of taking care of her husband and possibly children. Secondly, there is a very small chance your romantic relationships will develop.

Thirdly, if she makes up with you, are you sure, your adulteress will not find another match and break up with you? If there is a blank in front of her marital status, you are to ask her and be on guard. Some of them may lie. By the way, there is no need asking about it in the first message. This is considered impolite.

Making online dating mistakes guys burry their personal life. Why don’t you, finally, stop it?

Online dating second message

Avoid the patterns

The guy will have little chance of communicating with a girl if he uses pattern phrases such as: “How are you? What are you doing? ”,“ You are beautiful ”,“ You are sexy ”, etc.

Be positive

Few people can resist the interesting humorist, so your communication should be rich with optimism and humor. One of the easiest ways in the correspondence to show your positive attitude is the use of emoticons.

Do not do self-promotion

No one likes boasters. Stories about how wonderful and original you are will not interest her. Let her make her own conclusions. It is better to ask more, because girls like to talk about their own person so much.

Demonstrate the versatility of knowledge

She should know that you are diversified. But the demonstration should be held in an unobtrusive form. It should not be allowed to look like boasting. The element of surprise can play a big role. For example, a girl meets a guy whom everyone considers to be the soul of the party. They are happy to see him at any party, because there is no any complete holiday without his vulgar jokes. Accordingly, his new acquaintance develops a general opinion about him only on the basis of these observations.

But later, when she finds him closer, he shows her touching poems of his own composition. Inevitably, the opinion about the person changes immediately, he becomes more interesting for her: there are new topics for conversation, there is a possibility that a little later there will be new unexpected 'discoveries' of this kind.

Diversify communication with media

What Do You Like To Do In Your Free Time Online Dating Example Questionnaire

Such communication is suitable for social networks. All this will make it possible to diversify your communication, help you learn about her interests and show yours. Also sending media files will be an original way to hint something to a girl, express your emotions, invite her for a date, etc.

Ease and pleasure

What Do You Like To Do In Your Free Time Online Dating Example Page

Your communication should not be tense, and then she will forget about all the problems with you. Find topics that you both enjoy talking about (rest, life goals, etc.), briefly describe some unusual or funny event from your life, ask her about something neutral that will not cause negative emotions.

What Do You Like To Do In Your Free Time Online Dating Examples

Intrigue and understatement

What Do You Like To Do In Your Free Time Online Dating Example Answers

In communicating with her, use the pick-up scheme: for example, by corresponding with her for two days, suddenly disappear for a day, but later find a reasonable explanation for this that does not offend her. Another way to create intrigue is to tell her what you have for a surprise, but you will reveal the veil of secrecy a little later. All this will not allow you to be predictable, it will make her think more about you.

What Do You Like To Do In Your Free Time Online Dating Example Pdf

Tell about your active life

What Do You Like To Do In Your Free Time Online Dating Example List

Make her want to spend every minute with you! Winter fishing, hiking, barbecues at the cottage with friends, skates, skateboard, skiing, cinema, theaters, traveling by car. Of course, all your stories must correspond to reality, otherwise, it will be considered a hoax.